Forget forgetting to make the portrait, forget trying to make something else of it because it does not work out. I have to make that portrait, basta. It is now or never. In this mindset I eventually succeeded in creating the portrait I was satisfied with. I finally trusted my hands to know exactly what to do because his face was still in their memory, which is very natural if you have known someone all your life. Lately I subconsciously scanned his faced with my mind`s eye many times because I knew he was getting old and time with us was getting shorter.
For the rest I keep asking myself `why would one still make a sculpted portrait? Isn`t that pure hybris? Isn`t it terribly outdated etc...`. I do not have the answer except for the fact that I had to make it and I enjoyed making it.
So now it is finished and I have to decide what to do with it. I think i will make a mould to preserve this portrait because I know that one day it will be very precious to me, the day that i dread...the day I realise my memory of him starts to fade.